It was 23rd of January 1998, I was 17. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I was so confused by my boyfriend Steve and what he wanted me to do. Looking back now I was a fool and should never have listened to him. learn russian Kyiv's school

I went for a scan to see how far I was, alone, he said he was too ill to come with me. 2 weeks later though he managed to pry himself out of bed to make sure I didn’t back out. I was going down to the clinic and I just wanted to hide and run away from the situation, but I didn’t and I don’t think I will ever understand why! Well I did it and I remember waking up crying for Steve and a nurse giving me a painkiller, cause the pain was terrible. But the next day there was no painkiller in the world that would get rid of the pain I suffered that day and everyday. Well Steve and I got a place together and things seemed fine but under no circumstances could I mention the word abortion. I couldn’t speak to him or anyone - I just had to suffer in silence. kredyty chwilowki

So in a cry for help I took an overdose, sad but true and that still didn’t make any difference in the way he was with me. After about a year and a half we were drifting away but he never realized it until it was too late. My abortion had changed me. I still say to this day -- and it's over six years ago now -- the day I went down to the clinic it wasn’t just a baby they removed, it was my heart because I will never be the same person I was. But it’s made me stronger. I am in a new relationship now and I still suffer bouts of depression and I can only talk about the past on my terms and when I'm ready, because it only gets me angry when someone brings it up.

Steve and I talk about it from time to time and he always says I’m here when you need to let out your pain. But maybe I wouldn’t be like this if he only listened to me at the beginning. You see, I don’t think you learn to live with things - I feel you just learn to deal with it. I will never get over it until the day I die. My family at times says it's ruining my life, but they don’t know what it's like living with something like that.

I know I signed the papers, but I pay the price every day.