I had an abortion on the 11th of February 2000, when I was 18 years old.

I'm now 22 years old. I'm still with the same man.

And we now have a 20-month-old son.

I still cry. I still hurt. I still hate.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so pleased. I was excited, however my boyfriend was not. He wanted me to have an abortion, and we argued for days. Family got involved and it got worse.

Sitting in the waiting room to kill my baby, I sat in silence hoping he would say "Come on, let's go home, I want our baby". But he didn't. They called my name - I went into the changing room and got undressed. I sat there in a disgusting green colored gown, hoping he would open the door and take me home. But again he didn't. I found a sample essay, possibly better Essay Online,- It is very important.

The nurse came in and gave me a sad smile as I was crying. She asked, "Are you ready love", and I replied "yes". She walked me into the operating room where the Doctor asked me to sign a form that gave her permission to take my baby out of my body. I climbed up onto the table and the Doctor asked if everything was all right. I said yes. As the needle went into my arm to put me to sleep, I said over and over again "I'm sorry, I love you". Spectacula casino for mobile for free

I woke up crying and yelling out for my boyfriend...wishing I could turn back the last 2 hours, 2 hours that had changed my whole life forever. Still to this day I don't know how I felt comfort in his arms. I loved him so much that I killed my first child for him. For months after, I drank. There was no other way to sleep. No other way to numb the pain. Dell AC adapter

Today I feel guilty that I don't deserve my son. How am I going to tell him about what I have done?

My partner now sees how much that it has hurt me and he is also saddened and filled with guilt. He says that if we could go back, we would do it all differently. But it's too late and we can never go back.

Never.

Family seems to have forgotten that it ever happened. No one ever speaks about or acknowledges the day I killed him/her, or the month I would have given birth. Or the month I conceived. It's like it never happened.

I will NEVER ever forget and I will NEVER ever forgive myself for not being a stronger person.