My story began seven years ago. I was 23, just out of college, working as a waitress and trying to get a full time job. I got pregnant after only a short time with my boyfriend.

When I first told him, he acted supportive. But that quickly changed. Soon he was telling me he didn't want this and told me I should have an abortion. I'd always been anti-abortion, but my head was spinning. I was scared, I was broke, and I didn't want to tell my parents (my mother is a strict Catholic). I found a sample essay, possibly better cheap custom essay, all in excellent.

So, I made the appointment to have the abortion before I could even think about it. The day came, and my boyfriend took me to Planned Parenthood. I remember talking to someone at the clinic beforehand--a sort of pre-counseling session. I cried and cried, so much that I shook. Never once did they tell me maybe I should rethink my decision. I was obviously not doing this with a clear conscience but that didn't matter to them.

I was just one of many "procedures" that day. I don't really remember the actual abortion. I think I've blocked it from my memory. In fact, hard as I try, I can't remember anything about the doctor. I just remember laying in a recovery room feeling emptier than ever. Afterwards, my boyfriend dropped me off at home and went to a wedding. It was no big deal to him.

I went into a severe depression after the abortion. Guilt, self-hatred and extreme sadness all weighed heavily on me. At bookstores I would pull pregnancy books from the shelves and look up to five weeks--when I killed my child--to see the development process.

Finally, I discovered a post-abortion counseling group. It was difficult to face my fears, but I did. In the weekend workshop, women of all ages and stages of post-abortion attended. No matter how little or much time had passed since our abortions, we all felt the same hurt and regret. For some women, the abortion was a deep regret, but they lived normal lives, although none ever forgot. For one woman, anorexia plagued her afterwards. For another, overeating became her vice. But not one woman in that room wasn't affected in some way by the decision she made.

The counseling was a grueling process, but made a huge difference in my life. I've made peace with God. I'm sure God forgives me more than I forgive myself--that's the hardest part. I face every July 13, the anniversary, with dread. I see children around the age of what my child would have been and wonder. For as easy as it is to make the decision, you live with that decision for the rest of your life.

Recently, I found out I was pregnant for the second time in my life. Again, it was unplanned, but NOT ONCE did I think about giving up this child. I had the same fears I had seven years ago, but also had the realization that this wasn't about me--I had a life inside me. Unfortunately, I miscarried after two months. I know nothing I did caused that to happen, but it was only natural for me to feel like it was some kind of "punishment" for prior decisions I made. Rationally, I know that's not true, but I can't help feeling it.

Getting pregnant is something bigger than yourself. It is a blessing. It's not always the right time or place in your life. In fact, it rarely is. But it's a gift, and it's a life, and we need to have more respect for the life we as women carry in our bodies.

All I have to say to women who are considering abortion is to think about all aspects of their decision. It's not a choice you can take back after you've made it.